Sunday, October 4, 2015

Lori King's Masquerade ~PRE-ORDER GIVEAWAY!!!!!~

Fetish & Fantasy Series

Explore your secret fantasies…

Watching Sin
Submission Dance
Mistress Hedonism





One night.
Two people.
One risky move.
Can a submissive find happiness being auctioned off to a Dom she only knows as a business associate?
Can a Dominant chance creating a bond with a brand new submissive when he’s determined to stay a bachelor?
When the mask is lifted away, and both of them are exposed, can they seek comfort from each other and experience their secret fantasies? Or will they back away for fear of “what if”?

Preorder Links


Masquerade Excerpt

With that, Julia found herself tied naked to a bed in complete and utter silence. It was more nerve-wracking to lay there in the dark, anticipating what was to come, than it was standing on stage in front of everyone. In this position she couldn’t resist. The guy who’d purchased her, had full license to use her as he wanted. That should have left her trembling in fear, but instead, she could feel her pussy clench at the thought of being taken and used. Would he start with foreplay, or just shove his cock into her as if she were a blow-up toy for his pleasure? What if she needed to say her safeword? She knew she couldn’t get punished for safewording, but she was concerned about a man who would play before discussing it either way. Should she beg off? What would Killian tell her to do?
 According to Lex, Killian had vetted the man, which meant he trusted him with a new sub. That had to count for something. Instead of questioning a man she didn’t even know yet, she should just jump off the cliff and hope for the best. Resolved to wait patiently for her Master-for-the-night, she began reciting nursery rhymes in her head.
 Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
 It seemed like hours before she heard the bedroom door open and the sound of heavy footsteps. There was no way to recognize the man’s footsteps on the plush carpet, but she caught a whiff of a familiar cologne that tickled her brain. Whoever he was, she’d met him before, she just couldn’t figure out where.
 His steps stopped at the foot of the bed, and she was hyperaware of the fact that he was staring down at her naked form with a perfect view of her cunt. Did he like what he saw? She knew she was considered overweight in the outside world, but here, in this environment, she’d received such acceptance that it was easy to forget. Suddenly, her curves felt too round and her body too wide. She jolted in her bindings, instinctively trying to close her spread legs. A large hand covered her ankle, and began to stroke her gently.
 The contact was enough to help her calm the surprise panic attack, and she inhaled sharply trying to clear her brain of all of her self-conscious thoughts. He wouldn’t have purchased her if he didn’t find her attractive. It wouldn’t have made any sense. Firm in the knowledge that the man with the large hands had to want her, she let her body relax and focused on the warmth of his fingers sliding up the side of her calf.
 He didn’t hurry, and he didn’t speak. He just kept touching her. First her ankle, then her calf, then up to her knee, where he took a moment to explore the sensitive crease at the back. She tried not to wiggle at the ticklish sensation, but her muscles twitched against his fingertips. He let out a small chuckle, and she tensed again.
 The sound was so familiar. She’d heard it before. Now she was absolutely sure it was someone she’d interacted with, but who? Random people’s face’s populated her brain. From the regulars to the more recent additions, but no one seemed to fit.
 When Ashton’s face filled her mind’s eye, she hesitated, and then shrugged it away. He was too experienced for the likes of her, and besides, she’d only seen him play with one-night subs, women who didn’t want a regular Top to take care of them. The whole idea of the auction was to pair off unclaimed bottoms with suitable Tops. There was no way Ashton Reid would have wanted to jump into that pool, especially seeing as how he was the auctioneer.
 Unable to pinpoint who her seducer was, she once again focused on his hand drawing lazy figure eights on her thigh, slowly but steadily making its way higher. She could feel her own juices leaking from her slit, and the fact that he could see it only made her hotter. There could be no doubt he was turning her on, and so far, he’d done nothing but touch her.
 Just when he reached the crease between her thigh and her pussy, he stopped and pulled his hand away, making her whimper in disappointment. Another chuckle. Another familiar sound tickling her brain. Who was he?



Lori’s Bio

Best-selling author, Lori King, is also a full-time wife and mother of three boys. Although she rarely has time to just enjoy feminine pursuits; at heart she is a hopeless romantic. She spends her days dreaming up Alpha men, and her nights telling their stories. An admitted TV and book junkie, she can be found relaxing with a steamy story, or binging in an entire season of some show online. She gives her parents all the credit for her unique sense of humor and acceptance of all forms of love. There are no two loves alike, but you can love more than one with your whole heart.

With the motto: Live, Laugh, and Love like today is your only chance, she will continue to write as long as you continue to read. Thank you for taking the time to indulge in a good Happily Ever After with her. Find out more about her current projects at, or look her up on Facebook: or Twitter:

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Win a ticket to Sexy and Sassy Signing in Greenville NC!!

Sexy and Sassy Signing
October 24, 2015

So, you've seen me post that I'm going to this signing. I was over the MOON that I could just drive to it (we all know what happened when I try to get home from Palm Springs!).

Well this morning I got this AWESOME email that I am able to GIVEAWAY two tickets to the signing to you all!!!!
I know right....
So, I thought how should we do this???
I personally am tired of the darn rafflecopter as some people can't use it or what not.

I'm going to make really SIMPLE.......Comment below with who out of the authors going you'd love to get a SELFIE with!!!
The complete list is located here.

On October 10th....
I'll randomly throw your names in a bowl and choose two.
All done!!!

Be sure to check out these AWESOME sites for the SaSS!!!

For those not able to attend this year's don't sit there crying in your milk.....there's one next year!!

This one I have to admit is already on my 

Ok...get to commenting!!!!
Good luck!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Best Selling Author~KYM GROSSO Cover Reveal-JAX


 Jax Webshare Cover 

Designer: LM Creations

button synopsis
Agrestis Wolves’ Alpha, Jax Chandler, is on a mission to exact retribution after being captured and tortured by an enigmatic adversary. When the sophisticated publishing mogul rescues a beautiful wolf, he recognizes the woman he’d once believed to be his mate. Captivated, he sets out to discover her secrets and teaches her to embrace submission.
With Alpha blood running through her veins, Katrina Livingston’s shifter magic has been systematically stolen over time. On the run from demonic forces, she turns to the striking New York Alpha, the one she’s both hurt and protected. As she indulges in his erotic world, she struggles to resist the instinct to mate with Jax, a bond she believes will kill him.
From New York to New Orleans, Jax and Katrina embark on a dark and sensual adventure, discovering sorcery that could eradicate his entire pack. With their lives in danger, they search for clues to release her from the ominous prophesy. Will they survive the predator that comes ever closer to destroying their lives? And will Jax acknowledge the bond to a woman he never imagined he could trust to be his mate?
Warning: This book contains several erotic love scenes, including a m/f/m ménage, and is intended for adult readers only.
Jax Webshare Jacket

button teasers

Jax Tease 
Jax Tease 2

buy links

button Books in this series

Kade Dark Embrace (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 1)

Luca’s Magic Embrace (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 2)

Tristan's Lyceum Wolves (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 3)

Logan’s Acadian Wolves (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 4)

Léopold's Wicked Embrace (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 5)

Dimitri (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 6)

Lost Embrace
Lost Embrace (Immortals of New Orleans, Book 6.5)

button About the author

Kym Grosso is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the award-winning paranormal romance series, The Immortals of New Orleans. She also has a new erotic romantic suspense series, Club Altura Romance. In addition to romance novels, Kym has written and published several articles about autism, and is passionate about autism advocacy. She is also a contributing essay author in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Raising Kids on the Spectrum.
Kym enjoys reading, tennis, zumba, traveling and spending time with her husband and children. New Orleans, with its rich culture, history and unique cuisine, is one of her favorite places to visit. Also, she loves traveling just about anywhere that has a beach or snow-covered mountains. On any given night, when not writing her own books, Kym can be found reading her Kindle, which is filled with hundreds of romances.

button author links


Saturday, September 26, 2015

Grave Misfortune (Palace Secrets Book 3) by Ravyn Rayne

release day blitz - grave misfortune

Grave Misfortune (Palace Secrets Book 3)

by Ravyn Rayne

Published by Blushing Books
Genre: Historical Romance, Romantic Erotica
Married to a gambler and drunk, Helene is the madam for a brothel, where she looks after her girls and services the clientele. When Vincent, a royal guard from the palace, arrives at her doorstep and tries to defend her honor, little does he know she’s both married to the man and a Madam for the establishment. Could things get any more awkward? Hours later, a fire breaks out, putting her life and the girl’s that live with her in danger. Who would wish to set fire to the brothel? Going home to the cottage with her husband hardly seems a viable option. Vincent invites her to court, but can she handle what is in store for her? Not used to taking orders, Helene will have to learn to submit to Vincent, in order to protect her.


  "Come with me." Vincent's tone is sharp and short. "You broke the rules, Helene. There are consequences for not following orders." He grabs me by the elbow and whisks me into a nearby room, kicking the door shut behind us. I slip from his grasp as he blocks my exit. Consequences? Is he out of his mind? I should have known not to trust him and come to court. Not that I felt there was much choice but I could have lied to the king or told him I had a husband to stay with. It might have begged more questions but those I could have skirted. "Let me go!" "Not until you've been taken over my knee." I scoff at his words. He's not serious. "What are you going to do, spank me?" I'm half-joking. Rowland wasn't a prince but he never would have had the strength to discipline me.

Meet the Characters in the Series

A madam and owner of her own brothel, Helene is related by blood to King Alexander, though she's never come forward to claim any relation to the throne. She prefers her relation to be kept secret. Married to a drunk, Helene spends more time looking after her girls and babysitting her husband than caring about her own needs.
As a guard for King Alexander, Vincent is loyal, but don't mistake his kindness for lack of strength. With a reputation for being dominant and adventurous, Vincent has decided he wants a woman to marry, one that loves him for his kink as much as his desire to command her in the bedroom.
Queen Isabella 'Ella'
Formerly a princess, Queen Isabella is married to King Alexander. With a secret history of romancing her Lady-in-Waiting, Hannah, Isabella has come to accept her role as queen. Will she accept everything else going on in the castle right under her nose?
King Alexander
While his father lay on his death bed, Prince Alexander searched for a woman that would join him in ruling his kingdom. Strict, dominant, and every sense of the word 'alpha', Alexander knows how to keep his queen in line with a good spanking when she disobeys.
king alexander
Lady-in-Waiting for Princess Isabella, Hannah travels with her to Prince Alexander's court. Keeping their relationship a secret is a necessity or she and her queen will face death. Given the opportunity to find love and her own life away from the palace, the arrogant Lucas Covington, a Duke with riches and a title, desires Hannah's hand. He's smug, annoying, and enjoys taking Hannah over his knee when given the opportunity to discipline her. Is it too much for her?

Author Interview

  What are you currently working on? Right now I'm writing a Victorian Age Play novel that will be published under the name Allison West. It's currently untitled and I'm about half-way through writing the first draft. I've also recently created the domain which highlights both Ravyn and Allison (spanking author) titles. 
What names do you write under? Ruth Silver, Ravyn Rayne, and Allison West. 
How much do you write per day? My goal is 6k words a day. Somedays I can get that done in three hours. Other days it takes 8 or 9 hours to write that amount. 
What are you favorite genres to read? I love romantic erotica, dystopian (YA or adult), and some fantasy. 
Are you self published? Nope. I'm published with Blushing Books, Lazy Day Publishing, and Booktrope. 
What else do you like to do besides write? I love photography, reading, traveling, watching television, blogging, and making book swag. 
What sport are you good at? I used to be good at bowling. I bowled on my high school team and on our college campus in a league for fun. 
What show on television are you most looking forward to that's debuting this season? Good question! There's two shows I'm really excited about watching. Quantico and Shadowhunters. My days are spent writing and nights are spent relaxing to television or hanging out with friends. 
Do you have a favorite board game? Settlers of Catan and Pandemic. I love both of them equally. Which do you prefer: Kindle or paperback? Lately I've been reading on my kindle. It's easy to download, I can get samples set to my device, and I don't have to wait for a book to ship. I do have trouble remembering to charge the Kindle though!

Grab the series from the beginning

Palace Secrets

by Ravyn Rayne

Published by Blushing Books
Love comes in many forms and always at a price. At twenty-three, Princess Isabella must settle down for the sake of her kingdom. Caught up in a secret affair with her lady-in-waiting, Hannah, the princess knows it can only last for so long. When Prince Alexander arrives to court her, he confides that his father is on his death bed, and he will be crowned king soon. Isabella hastily agrees to the proposal, desiring to be queen, knowing little about her soon to be husband. Murder, secrets, and lies combine with menage, spanking, and erotic encounters in this steamy medieval romance.


“Make a sound and you’ll get another spanking,” Alexander says. His tone is firm but light. Unlike the last time, he doesn’t sound angry or disappointed with me. Is this how our lovemaking will be?
I’m both aroused and craving more of Alexander’s affection. I bury my face into the pillow, trying my best not to make any noise. I moan quietly as his lashings grow harder, burning against my skin, making me wet. I’m glad Alexander’s attention is on me. There’s something about his power and control that fires me up inside. Is he doing this to teach me a lesson for being naughty or to arouse me?
“No, Hannah.” Alexander’s answer is both quick and abrupt. “I’m the only one in charge.
Maybe I should spank you both regularly for sneaking around the castle, behind my back. Would that make sure it doesn’t happen again?” Alexander lets his hand land hard on my bottom. The sting grows fierce and I whimper in protest. When will his spankings turn to sex? He offered it to me the last time and I rejected him. It had been the only amount of control that I’d been given. Tonight, I would give him everything, and if he asked me to beg, I would.

Maiden Claimed (Palace Secrets Book Two)

by Ravyn Rayne

Published by Blushing Books
It was supposed to be a simple trip to the market in Paris.
Nothing for Lady Hannah is ever simple.
One secret after another.
The lies are mounting up.
Lady Hannah has made a deal with the devil. Worse she’s falling in love with him. There’s no turning back.
A steamy medieval romance filled with spankings and erotic pleasures.

Available on Kindle Unlimited for FREE or just $2.99 on Amazon


  Waiting outside the bathhouse, a gentleman, with honey-golden hair and eyes as green as the blades of grass on a summer’s day, stops in front of me. He looks me over and smiles. His face is covered in scruff and dirt licks his skin. “I approve.” There’s an arrogance surrounding this man, and I have the urge to silence him. “You approve of what?” I ask and cross my arms defensively. My eyes narrow, unpleased. “I approve of you joining me in the bathhouse. Though I admit you look pretty clean already. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He reaches out to touch a strand of my blonde hair and I swat his fingers away and force his arm down to his side. “You’ve lost your mind.” My grip on his wrist is forceful, showing him who’s boss. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, glancing down at my hand still holding his wrist.

About the Author

Ravyn Rayne
Ravyn is a sassy, fun-loving, and adventure-seeking young woman. She loves to travel and can’t wait for her next vacation,
Ravyn writes romantic erotica. She began writing romance novels in college, spending her down time either reading a book or writing fiction. Please don’t make her choose between the two, she loves them equally.wherever it might be. She has been published professionally since 2013. You can find her young adult books here.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Release Blitz!!! BANG by Joanna Blake


Release Blitz Title: BANG 
Author: Joanna Blake
 Genre: Contemporary
 Romance Cover: Rebel Edit & Design 
Release Date: September 21, 2015


MEAT. MANWHORE. PORN STAR. I have sex on camera for a living. I don't need to feel anything to perform. In fact, I like it better that way. That's until I meet her. She makes me want things I shouldn't. Like her.
My name is Trent but in the business I go by Rez. I work hard, play hard and party hard. That's until a crash takes me out of rotation. I broke all of my bones -- all, that is, except the one that counts. Too bad I'm too messed up to use it.
Now I'm laid up in a hospital bed, unable to do more than scratch my ass. That wouldn't be so bad, but the nurse in charge of my recovery is hell on wheels. Bossy, prudish and rough with her sponge baths. Not to mention drop dead gorgeous. Worse yet, she seems totally immune to my charms.
I love getting a rise out of her. And for some reason, she always gets a rise out of me.
She thinks she is better than a manwhore like me. She might be right. But I'm not giving up until I take the prissy know it all on the ride of her life- on me. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I've blown her mind six or seven times in one night.
Trouble is, I've gotten in deeper than I meant to. And I don't know if I ever want out.
BANG is a standalone novel with no cheating and a guaranteed HEA!  

BANG Ecover   




BANG teasser 2   

BANG teaser 3 

  Perfect male body. Close-up of young shirtless man covered with towel standing against background   


 She knew. She didn’t even have to say a word. I just knew. Her eyes had changed. She looked wounded. Cold. Indifferent. She was beautiful of course, but more fragile somehow. She looked like she’d been crying. And she wouldn’t make eye contact with me. For a moment I felt defeat. She wasn’t going to come around. Fuck that. She owed me dinner. And dessert. And I meant to have it. “I’m getting out soon.” She nodded. “That’s good.” “You owe me dinner.” She sighed, standing perfectly still for a moment. Then she went back to what she was doing. “No I don’t.” “Are you welching?” She looked at me finally. Her eyes were worse than I’d thought. She looked betrayed. She looked humiliated. My heart leapt in my chest. I’d never meant to hurt the girl. I just wanted to make her feel good. I wanted to make us both feel good. And I knew it would be different with this girl. Off the charts. Special. “Lexi…” “I’m sure you had a good laugh at my expense. But that’s done now. Please, Mr. Davis, allow me to do my job.” Mr. Davis. Ouch. That hurt. I grabbed her hand. I could feel the electricity jump between us. She looked at me, her eyes cold and shuttered. “Lexi… I wasn’t laughing. I like you.” She pulled her hand loose. “I’m sorry Mr. Davis, I’m not interested.” “Like hell you aren’t!” She started to leave and I was up in an instant. I locked the door, pressing her against it. I used my other hand to close the blinds. Her eyes were wide with surprise. And something else. Arousal. My mouth crashed down on hers. She didn’t move. Not to get away. Not to kiss me back. And then she melted. I knew in that moment I had her. She was mine. “I want you Lexi…” “Not here.” “Hell yes here.” She moaned as my fingers slid over her uniform. I wasted no time going for her most sensitive spots. I was already learning her. Knowing her. Her neck. The sides of her breasts. The high arch of her hip. And lower. I ground my cock into her as my tongue dove in and out of her mouth. My hips were circling, faster and faster. I knew that if I didn’t stop, I was going to cum. But not before I made her cum. “Lay on the bed.” “Trent…” I stared at her. “I- oh…” She moaned as my fingers found her cleft. I kept talking as I toyed with her, carefully using all my skills to keep her aroused. To keep her from over thinking this. “We can do this standing up. Or we can do this laying down. It’s up to you pet.” “Sta-standing up.” I grinned at her. “Be careful what you wish for Lexi.”   



Joanna Blake loves good old fashioned romance, men who open doors and work with their hands. Hot Blooded Heroes is a series of sizzling stories about True Blue American men and the women who love them. She's thrilled to be collaborating with Pincushion Press on her new series! Come along for the ride!

A Bad Boy For Summer: 
Ride With Me: 
Slay Me (ROCK GODS): 
Dare Me (ROCK GODS): 
Cover Me (ROCK GODS): 
Wanted By The Devil (DEVIL'S RIDERS): 
Still Waters (DEVIL'S RIDERS): 
Safe In His Arms (DEVIL'S RIDERS):
The Rock Star Next Door (Joanna Blake Singles): 
The Biker Next Door (Joanna Blake Singles):  


Friday, September 18, 2015

Vampire Vic 2 Morbus Reborn by Harris Gray

Harris Gray takes readers further into the life of a not-so-typical vampire and explores self-discovery along the way

CASTLE ROCK, CO. JUNE, 2015 -- According to writing team Harris Gray, vampires walk among us. Appraising our houses, policing our neighborhoods, crossing our borders. It’s just understood there will be biting and an occasional conversion. Vampire Vic introduced readers to Victor Thetherson, and this September, the story continues in Vampire Vic2: Morbius Reborn.

In the second installment of the series, readers rejoin Victor, nearly cured of his disease after experiencing the benefits and then the horrors of vampirism in book one. His treatment at the Longevity Labs buries the charisma and confidence that only vampirism was able to resurrect, and snuffs his rekindled love affair with ex-wife Barbara. Victor can’t trust himself as a vampire and doesn’t want to live with himself otherwise. Now famous for his slaying skills, Eugene Foreman adds an offbeat counterpoint to Victor’s drama.

Not just hardcore horror, Vampire Vic is a story about people, some of whom happen to be vampires. Kirkus reviews called the series, “A vampire’s entertaining journey of self-discovery.” Readers can relate to Vic’s struggles and will find great humor in this darkly funny book.

Allan Harris and Jason Gray, the writing team coined “Harris Gray”, began their collaboration in Gray’s coffee shop, Crowfoot Valley Coffee and Crowbar over 15 years ago.

“Our novels are heavy on plot,” says Harris. “We love escalating stakes, big shockers and cruel twists driven by hilariously interesting characters. With or without fangs, these characters are all too real. We see them every day in Jason’s coffee shop.”

 Vampire Vic2: Morbius Reborn

ISBN: 978-09888957-5-1
Paperback, $13.95
Ebook, $3.99
Urban Fantasy
257 pages
September 15, 2015

Vampires walk among us. Appraising our houses, policing our neighborhoods, crossing our borders. We understand there will be biting and an occasional conversion. These are small sacrifices for the sexy thrill. We do worry about vampires popping up in positions of power. They are evolved, difficult to slay, not as sexy. A backlash grows; but are we far too late?

Victor Thetherson is nearly cured. The treatment buries the charisma and confidence that only vampirism seems able to resurrect, and snuffs his rekindled love affair with ex-wife Barbara. Victor can’t trust himself as a vampire and doesn’t want to live with himself otherwise.

Eugene Foreman dispenses wisdom on his Sage Slayer site, offs vamps when convenient, and romances Victor and Barbara’s daughter, Amberly. His sensei, the Civil War Soldier, begs Eugene to slay Victor before he realizes his deadly inheritance.

Victor versus Eugene, round two in an ancient war. With Morbius Reborn, our time at the top of the food chain is coming to an end.

“Victor Barton Thetherson has a self-esteem problem. His ex-wife bullies him. He is manager in a construction accounting firm, yet his staff makes fun of him. His teenaged daughter pretends not to know him. Moreover, she’s not above finding fake fathers to act on his behalf. It seems as if nothing is going well in his life. Oh, and he’s a vampire.” 

Harris Gray combines the writing talents of duo Allan Harris and Jason Gray. Together, they have written three novels, two screenplays, a Christmas play and a collection of stories from Jason’s younger days. An early version of their novel Java Man was a finalist in the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers contest.  Allan is a former guest columnist for The Denver Post and Jason owns Crowfoot Valley Coffee and Crowbar, land of rumor and embellishment.

Their collaboration began in Jason’s coffee shop. Allan wrote and eavesdropped as Jason entertained his customers. One day, Allan found a little yellow notepad waiting for him, crammed to the margins with Jason’s exploits. Allan typed them, touched them up, and called it good; but Jason had other ideas. As their tales converged and became inseparable, Harris Gray emerged. While the two couldn’t be more different in how they think and write, Harris says, “There is something wonderful and incredibly cohesive when we create a story together.” In Gray’s words, “We’re something less than Sybil and more than Siamese twins.

Vampire Vic, the first installment in the darkly funny and relatable trilogy, launched in March 2013. Readers can add the follow-up, Vampire Vic2: Morbius Reborn, to their bookshelves this fall. Harris Gray also released their standalone novel Java Man in November 2013.

Facebook-HarrisGrayAuthor  Twitter-  @HarrisandGray  Google-+HarrisGray Goodreads-  HarrisGray  Youtube-HarrisGray


Allan: So this is going to throw you for a loop, I apologize for coming out of the blue, but I think it’s time we decide on our recommendations to cast the Vampire Vic major motion picture.
Jason: I will cast Ryan Reynolds as myself.
Allan: You seem to have given this some thought, that’s great. And a perfect choice, really. But you and I aren’t in the story. Not even a cameo.
Jason: I have been doing a lot of thinking on this, Allan. I’m the right guy to play Vic. And I’d like Ryan Reynolds to be that guy.
Allan: How can Ryan play you, if you’re not in the movie?
Jason: Because I know Victor like no one else. I’m in his head. I own him.
Allan: Okay. Let’s move on. How about Vic’s wife Barbara? We’re looking for someone who starts plain and then blows you away with her unexpected sex appeal. An actress who forever more makes you doubt your first impressions.
Jason: You have perfectly described Caitlyn Jenner.
Allan: She isn’t an actress.
Jason: We’ll get Kathy Bates to play her. Then when no one’s looking, we substitute in Nicole Kidman.
Allan: But…. Okay. I do like Nicole. What about the accent? Barbara is native to Houston.
Jason: Texan, Australian – believe me, no one can tell the difference. How long did it take Keith Urban to figure it out?
Allan: But Keith is from Australia.
Jason: And even he was fooled.
Allan: So we’re asking Kathy and Nicole to do Bruce and Caitlyn doing Barbara? It’s such a stretch, I think I just pulled my hamstring, ha-ha-ha-ha….
Jason: While you ice that gam, it’s time we figured out our vampire slayer, Eugene. Victor’s nemesis. I’ll give you first dibs on him.
Allan: Fine. I’ll cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Taron Egerton. You know, the kid from Kingsman.
Jason: Oh yeah, I know. Give me a break.
Allan: What? You did it!
Jason: Actors playing actors, playing characters? Russian nesting dolls, Allan. No, it has to be Daniel Radcliffe.
Allan: Wow. You’re right. He would be the unexpected, perfect Eugene. I can picture it.
Jason: You didn’t even hear Danny’s accent, did you?
Allan: Really, really faint. Alright, I think we’re set, we have our headliners.
Jason: Aren’t you forgetting someone? Think Books 2 and 3….
Allan: Amberly. Of course! Vic and Barbara’s daughter, and the love of Eugene’s life. Oh man, I have no idea who plays her.
Jason: Sure you do. She’s right there in front of you.
Allan: My man, you have excellent taste, she is gorgeous. But I think Farrah was already too old back in the 70’s when she posed for the picture on my screen saver.
Jason: I’m talking about your daughter.
Allan: Really? You want to cast Kaija in our movie? I’m uh, I’m…hang on a second…
Jason: Take your time. Here’s a tissue.
Allan: Thank you. Okay, so what, you’re thinking we have Chloe Moretz play her, playing Amberly—
Jason: Nope. No middleman necessary this time.
Allan: Yeah. I like it. Damn you, best writing partner ever. Give me another tissue.